You Don’t Have to “Dress Up” to Enjoy Fashion!

“I love clothes, but with my lifestyle I hardly ever get to dress up. In fact, I haven’t really enjoyed fashion in years!”

That’s what a friend told me the other day, and I’ve heard similar versions of the same story from other women, too.

It’s so sad!

With many countries still operating under COVID restrictions, our lifestyles just aren’t what they used to be.

But for many people (myself included!), we’ve never had very active social lives.

I work in hospitality, which means that on weekends, I’m at work – usually until late in the evening. My days off are always during the week.

I’m also an introvert – the opposite of a social butterfly – and I’d rather catch up with a friend for a mid-week lunch than go to a party.

But I also love fashion. I once kept a gorgeous pair of party heels for years in the hopes that I’d one day wear them. But either the event never came or when it did, I didn’t have the courage to wear them, and in the end I gave them away still unworn!

We all have stories holding us back from dressing the way we’d love to. Maybe you have to wear a uniform to work, and you think you’d put more effort into your wardrobe if you were free to wear what you wanted. Or you tell yourself you’ll wear nice clothes once you lose weight. Or nobody else around you has any fashion sense, and you’d feel like the odd one out if you looked stylish. Or you don’t have the budget to buy in-season clothes all the time, so you figure, why bother?

But you don’t have to “dress up” to enjoy fashion!

I have just as much fun creating my everyday outfits as I do on the (rare) occasions when I dress up. In fact, I like casual looks more because they’re comfortable and I’m less likely to overthink them. And I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes – if it fits well and is reasonable quality, it doesn’t bother me if it’s from Target! Like the casual summer dress I’m wearing in the photo above.

If you’re not used to feeling great about your appearance every day, then when the time comes to dress up you’ll feel awkward and uncomfortable instead of like a celebrity. Because it’ll be so different from how you dress yourself on a daily basis.

Looking great is NOT about wearing fancy, expensive clothes. It’s really about:

• Garments that fit properly
• Flattering styles for your body shape
• Colours that enhance your features
• Details that reflect your personality
• Well-groomed hair & tasteful makeup

If you get used to incorporating these into your daily outfits, it’ll feel like a step up rather than a gigantic leap when it’s time to dress nice.

I challenge you to wear at least ONE thing every day that you feel great about. It can be anything. Maybe it’s a beautiful pair of earrings. Or a perfectly fitted pair of jeans. Or even a lovely bra that no one sees but you.

You are allowed to love what you wear every day, not just on special occasions.

Fashion isn’t just for party girls. If you wear clothes (and most of us do), you can enjoy them!

If you want to learn how to love your look every day – dressed up or not – check out my Services page.

How to Dress Up (But Not Overdress)

Picture this: you’ve been invited to a social event that will be full of people you don’t know. You want to make a good impression (and besides, it’s a chance to dress up!), so after much indecision you settle on an outfit that’s stylishly formal.

You’ve got high heels, a crisp jacket, bold lipstick, glittery accessories, the whole shebang. One last glance in the mirror and you decide you’re good to go.

You arrive at the event and – oh the horror – several of the guests are wearing jeans!!

You’ve completely overdressed!

Everyone else looks relaxed and comfortable, while you’re wishing desperately you could go home and change. But no, it’s too late. You’re stuck there, looking like a flamingo in a sea of black swans.

The rest of the evening stretches on. You have a few lukewarm conversations, but it’s hard to engage when you’re convinced that others are silently snickering at you.

Finally you get home, kick off your heels, and swear that you’ll never let that disaster happen again!

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I tell you, I used to be SO afraid of overdressing. So much that I always wore plain, basic, and neutral clothes to avoid the above types of scenarios. And yes, it was safer – and boring.

As girls, we love to dress up. We spend most of our childhoods diving into mom’s heels, shawls and lipstick and waiting for the day we’ll be old enough to wear them, too.

Why, then, do we shrink back from these things as grown-ups?

There’s this thing called “tall poppy syndrome” that’s quite prevalent in Australia (perhaps it’s embedded in other cultures, too) and it’s basically the sense that if you stand out, you’re a big-head and you should be ashamed.

Overdressing is just one way of being a tall poppy!

While being afraid to stand out is an issue all itself – and one that is well worth exploring – for now I’ll give some guidelines as to how you can safely dress up without overdressing.

These tips are not for very formal events like weddings where you’re sure that everyone will be dressed up. They’re more for the grey areas like parties and social events where people may or may not be dressed up, and you want to look nice but not like you’re trying too hard.

In reality, when you put a bunch of people together for an event there are going to be some who really dress up and others who don’t dress up at all. So even if you’re grossly over- or under-dressed, you’re probably not the only one! But still, the happy spot is usually in the middle, and that’s where I aim to be.

On to the tips!

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Tip #1: Dress it UP with a fancy piece

You probably just need one of these per outfit, unless you’re sure it’s a very dressy event.

This could be a gorgeous necklace or some killer shoes. In terms of formality, it could also be something that’s classically formal, such as a tailored jacket, pumps, or a cocktail dress.

These are pieces that make an outfit look fancier, and an outfit made entirely of these is very fancy, indeed!

Examples of these pieces are:

• Tailored jackets
• High heels
• Flashy jewellery or accessories
• Bold/bright makeup
• A cocktail or evening dress

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Tip #2: Dress it DOWN with versatile basics

These are wardrobe items that you probably wear every day – not just for special events. They’re appropriate for workwear but are not sporty or overly casual.

You could pair your cocktail dress with sandals and minimal jewellery, or your stilettos with dark jeans and a blouse. This way you look a little more dressed up than usual, but not like you’re going to a gala event.

Examples of these pieces are:

• Plain, dark jeans/pants/skirt
• Flat shoes such as sandals or ballet flats
• Plain boots with heels
• A “little black dress” or something similar
• Coats such as trench coats or pea coats

The end result is that, if the event turns out to be on the fancier side, you’re wearing something that looks like it belongs (the dressy piece). But if, on the other hand, it’s a more casual event, you’ll look nice but still comfortable with your versatile basics.

It’s about striking the balance of dressing up your basic pieces, while dressing down your fancy ones.

This way you avoid wearing an all-basic outfit when everyone else looks flashy, or all-formal outfit when everyone else looks comfortable.

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The outfit below is what I wore to a friend’s bridal shower recently. The dress code was “pastels”, which initially threw me because I own nothing pastel (other than PJs!), but I managed to find this floral jumpsuit at Dotti just in time.

The jumpsuit itself looks appropriate for parties but not casual wear, so I’d classify it as a fancy piece. Rather than dress it up further with heels, I opted for a pair of low wedge sandals. The only jewellery I wore was a pair of silver studs. I styled my hair in a simple ponytail instead of anything complicated. And since it was unexpectedly chilly I added the black blazer, though the outfit would have been fine without it, too!

It turned out to be the perfect outfit, as most of the other guests were dressed up a little but still looked comfortable (it was a daytime event, so I guessed that this would be the case). I got so many compliments!

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you dread being overdressed? Tell me in the comments!